Truly, a divorce ends one chapter of your life but starts another one. If you are a millennial or Genx woman recently passing through the storm of a divorce, you are experiencing a rainbow of emotions—in a moment, you may feel sorrow and anger, and a few moments later, hope and excitement about what lies ahead. All of these array of emotions are perfectly normal. Even if there is a bit of fear of the unknown, this is a turning period, a chance to find oneself anew, revive passions, and look forward to a future full of possibilities.
It's easy to feel like life is overwhelming when you're standing amidst the disarray of your former life. How empty the bed seems now, and the silence in your home reminds you of your new solitude. But in that solitude, a very profound revelation: you are the only architect now for your future. The realization is scary but exhilarating.
It's after the dust has settled that you find yourself replaying the last of the dialogues, the last of the goodbyes, and the last of the fights that ended your relationship. At best, these memories will bring sleepless nights and a few tears, but you can feel your inner strength in these most vulnerable moments.
You realize that healing is not just getting over your divorce; it is turning your pain into power. It's to turn your wounds into wisdom and experience into growth. This doesn't happen overnight; it can't be done by simply forgetting the past.
In that reflection, you'll see how stress or sorrow has dimmed that shine from your eyes. Now, though, picture that reflection and see it replaced with an inner glow, radiant as a beacon of health, happiness, and healing.
It is going to be a very deep step to reclaim your body and your space. It will start with very small decisions, like getting in those good, colorful foods, getting up in the morning for a yoga session or a jog, or even just rearranging the living space for change. It seems like a small step, but this can be very freeing! Move that furniture around and make it your own; claim your space. I have worked with many women going through this stage, and this is very empowering.
Start reconnecting with those passions of yesteryears that you forgot and sidelined all these years, which is one sure way of rediscovering your happiness and confidence. Do you remember the happiness you got when you painted, wrote, or went hiking? These activities were not only pastimes but also a way of extending your soul for the expression of your feelings and creativity.
Maybe you felt like you didn't have a voice in your marriage, as if your opinion didn't matter, so this is a rite of passage; you are giving your own desires a voice. You can finally say to that small voice screaming inside, "I hear you!"
The New Relationship with Yourself
Take yourself out on a date: go to your favorite restaurant, dress up for yourself, and just enjoy your company. This way, you will rediscover what really makes you tick, laugh, and feel alive. That is not loneliness; it's about being at peace with yourself and having a good time in your own company.
Building this new relationship with yourself sets the groundwork for new, stronger, and healthier relationships in the future. It helps set boundaries out of the love and respect you have for yourself. It lets you know that you are worthy—not to be seen as an extension of someone else but because of how your life experiences shape you.
Change Your Mindset
You'll notice how just going from "I can't believe that happened to me" to "I get to be in charge of what happens next" moves the language from victim to victorious.
Remind yourself every single morning of all the good things you are and have done. Write them down, speak them out, and let that be one of the first things you remind yourself of each day. They do not in any way diminish the rough days but rather prepare you for them with strength and belief in your own ability to get past them.
Bringing Your Dreams to Life
This new chapter brings fabulous opportunities, just ripe for your life. What would you be doing? Who would you be with in one year, in five years, or perhaps even in a decade? What would your perfect day look like? Who would you be with? What would you do? Dream big and take off all the limits.
Design your future
All these dreams can become your reality, step by step. For instance, if you dream of changing your career, start with some research or maybe some classes so you move yourself further down the path of your new career.
If you dream of love, start with loving yourself.
If you dream of travel, start saving and planning those trips.
Now you are moving from dreaming to doing. Each tiny step is, as it were, a quantum leap closer to the future you so deserve and desire.
Your Fresh Start
This is the one beginning, and this is an opportunity to live a whole life and enjoy it. There will be days when your history hangs so heavy it feels like grief you will not survive; those will be the days you come to know yourself in the deepest sense. Embrace the uncertainty, beauty, and power that lies in this transformational season of life. This is not about surviving; it is really about thriving, even after divorce. Then paint your future in the brightest and most vivid colors possible. Here's to your journey—full of love, laughter, and a confidence so strong the best has yet to come.
Need some help in this transition period? Check out ways how I can support you here
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